Upside -
I am so sorry you are going through this - how difficult. This "cake-eating" life that your H is seeking appears to be good for only one person - him. That being said - I'm not sure what MWD might say on this situation. The "Love Must Be Tough" book by Dr. Dobson indicates that we MUST said firm boundaries regarding what is right and wrong and not allow cake-eating. I remember one poster here who said that unless H was all in - there was no R.

I would hate for you to feel "bullied" into something you weren't comfortable with.

I'm probably not the best to give advice - but I hear your confusion.

M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years
Ds-24,22/S-18
D - 3/11
A Day at a Time