I always come here when I need comfort and understanding...I am in need of those things now...

Originally Posted By: Cadet
So now I will ask a really silly question.

If you get divorced(or do nothing) is anything going to change?
This was far from a silly question. I really though I would be okay with whatever happened and I will be however, there is more pain to get through before I'm done.

I will be divorced in a few days eventhough my H says he loves me and wants to be with me. The marriage itself doesn't seem to matter so much to him and the more I bring up the divorce, the more he pushes back. He seems committed to the relationship but says he does not want to be obligated to spend every night with me...he says he needs to be able to have space for his own mental health. I have made it clear that I want a husband/companion that wants to be with me every night. So my H now feels we want different things and it won't work. I have tried to discuss compromise but he says he doesn't want to play the "what if game". Last night I got so frustrated, I lost it and talked about ending things again for the umpteenth time. He pulled back and I got emotional...can I blame the holidays and my hormones? Ha! I'm trying not to kick myself too hard...I have been so good for soooo long and I just couldn't hold it in. Now I feel like crap for reacting and just because I'm in pain again. I know I will recover quickly...I will be fine regardless of what happens now.

My H and I are supposed to talk tonight. I have run different scenarios through my head and I keep coming back to accepting the divorce and continue the relationship with the help of a councelor. Is this because I just want to avoid the pain? I really do believe that if I move on that someday I will find someone who is more compatible with me and they will want most of the same things I want...and then I think I don't want to go through all that $hit again. I'm lost and confused. I love my H and I am happier with him than without him however, I'm not happy accepting everything on his terms.

I need help trying to figure out how to navigate my way through this mess...