What happens to the WAS after D?

[AtTheEnd?]

Exactly. I think we remember who our spouses WERE, not who they currently are and that is a hard pill to swallow but the fact is, who they were... is a ghost now. A shell of their former self. They are not that person anymore. And yu're right... if you were to get back together, the relationship is totally different with totally different dynamics.

I can understand how both parties have changed, but if both WANT to work it out, I believe that it can. It takes growth from both parties, and if the WAS wants the relationship again, they will grow. This is where you guys tell each other to make the WAS earn it. Don't give in too quickly, make them prove it with action.

Each of you has gone through something so traumatic, that it forced all of us to grow as people. This hasn't happened to the WAS. They've only run from their problems. They haven't faced anything, placing blame on the LBS, and trying to run away. In almost all ways, we are the stronger of the two in the relationship. If the WAS were to ever want to return, you will have to lead. To help both of you grow.

The chance of this happening are small. The WAS will regret, and whether they want return is a case by case basis. Each of you will have the choice at that time, but all of you will go on to better lives and relationships based on the growth you've gone through in getting through this tough time.