Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[sandi2]

I will tell you that in the last 3 weeks the following progression has taken place:

*Her hanging onto the edge of the bed to meeting in the middle

*From no hug to hugging almost everytime we see each other

*From no kissing to kissing on the cheek

I see progress right there. Even though it seems painfully slow, that is how she will be able to work through her issues. I think it's important to let her initiate with intimate moves. Clinging to the edge of the bed is a powerful body language, so is the fact she is relaxing more. She sees that you are not going to pounce on her.

I agree with something you suggested on another thread to a newcomer. Practice giving her non-sexual touches. That is so important at this stage. Even if you just get a side-by-side body hug instead of front to front.....that's a step in getting better.

A woman knows when she's not ready to ML, and when she's trying to get herself together after an EA.....she's dealing with a lot of internal things. As one writer said,when ML to
a woman, you start with her mind.

I think most LBH's want to ML b/c it is a type of assurance for him that she "does" love him and is willing to work at the R. Wanting her to commit to 100% in working on the MR is the H wanting assurance. There is nothing wrong with that. I believe it comes from being human. But I know how I would avoid any form of pressure. It seems very selfish when putting it into words,and maybe it was, IDK, I just know that "that" was all I could do (and be honest)at the time.

EAch of you have issues to work through separately....and some together. You're doing a good job. If things were not difficult at this stage.....then I would be very concerned.