Thanks for the reply Sandi. I've read many of your posts on the boards and value your opinion.
Sex life was good before the miscarriage. Nothing outstanding b/c of my shift work and our 2yo son but there were no signs of anything abnormal there.
All of the "evidence" is still laying in plain sight. She definitely knows that I've seen it and wants me to see it. She has done some serious button pushing/testing with money (as ive talked about), time at work, and other stuff. Things that I would have normally questioned in the past. I have just stayed consistent, not questioned it, and remained calm and upbeat at home.
I agree with the promises about our S and taking care of him. I was basically trying to let her know that I was upset as well that I couldn't help out more when I was hurt and I will do whatever possible to help out more in the future. I have not talked about that anymore. Im simply doing the tasks for my boy and enjoying every minute of it. My boy notices too and loves his daddy time.
I have been going to my room a bit early during the last two weekends. I have spent both Saturdays with her doing "normal" stuff and it has just been wearing on me emotionally. I just felt the need to take a few hours and relax by myself after those long days. I work the midnight shift at work so I don't hide out during the week...sleep during the day. I am going to try and spend at least one of my weekend nights downstairs (after I put my son to bed) and see how that goes.
I totally agree with her friends being a negative influence on our M. Her coldness actually started right after she spent a night out with her girlfriend from work. The only other night she went out was to their house. She got so drunk that she got sick and told me about it the next morning. I have no doubts that she was hanging out at their house during those times. Her friend is M and has a 2yo and the other friend is pregnant (and engaged).
These girls are definitely having an influence on my W's personality. They are all about dressing up, looking nice, and competing with each other with regard to material things. They have all talked about turning 30yo and that they need to live it up and enjoy their life before getting old. My wife has talked about how happy she is to have close friends. The problem is these friends are very self-centered and only seem to be concerned with themselves and getting the attention focused on them.
My W has not gone out with these friends for about a month. They are busy with their own lives and families. My W has no single friends that go out and party, etc. She has been content with "family time" recently. Her alcohol use (mostly wine) has definitely increased and she's back to smoking regularly. However, she does that mostly when Im not in the house.
I am just trying to find healthy boundaries for myself. I still feel like I need my own time and space to stay sane right now. I really appreciate your feedback. We will see how this weekend goes....
