my h and son gave me necklace

[MrBond]

"I think a lot of spouses come back because if money reasons and that is not my h situation."

Not so. Spouses come back because they want to be with the person they are with. Look at many of the success stories. I don't recall any of them getting back together because of money.

"Im not saying this was the only reason but he is having a great time with ow with all the $ he has. the reason i asked him for necklace because i know that was something he loved doing was giving expensive gifts and I didnt want him to give them to me i wanted him to save the money or put it towards sons college ."

If this is correct to a certain point, then your H's LL might have been receiving gifts. He gave you gifts out of love and even though your intentions were good for refusing them, he took them as rejection. Vice versa, did you ever buy him nice things? A person will show love in the way that they want to be loved. Does the OW buy him things?

Irregardless of all that. First things first. What can you do to rebuild your self-esteem? Something that you will be able to follow through with and continue on. Part of the reason why your H will not move on one way or another is because you haven't moved one way or another.