Last night my wife and I had a nice dinner. I made a shrimp curry and she brought a bottle of wine. We had a nice time and everything went well.
She came by again this morning and I couldn't keep myself from thinking about her and OM. I'm not sure if this was the right move for me, but I told her that things couldn't continue like this (i.e. our friendship while she continues to see OM).
This was really hard for me to say, since I'll likely miss our friendship more than she will. It's all the more difficult in light of how we both interact now. Since I've been DBing, my changes have changed her in so many ways. It has given me a glimpse of just how good our relationship could be.
In any event, we resolved the dog custody (which has given her an excuse to visit) and asked that she stop coming by and stop calling me all the time. I wasn't mean about it. I just told her the truth: it's too much false hope for me. I have been reading a book on detachment and realized that the sitch wasn't good for me. I can't heal if the wound is reopened every weekend.
She cried the whole time and kept her arms folded across her chest. She kept telling me how much she still loved me and that she never wanted to hurt me and so on... She also told me that she was mad at me for becoming such a nice guy; that I'm not making things easy for her.
So it's done. Either she gets lonely for her husband/friend enough to give up OM or It's over between us. I'm not expecting any changes since this isn't the first time we have had this conversation. The only difference, this time, there are consequences.
