Want to hear something sad,but typical of WAW in an A? I knew exactly what my H was doing when he would tell me right out of the blue...."I love you". I knew he was wanting me to say it back to him. I didn't. Then it would make him angry.

It must be very hard to not express your love for your S when you have such deep feelings. But you are doing the right thing, for now, by not saying those things that will actually cause pressure for her. It may be difficult to understand why that would be pressure, and I can't really explain it...I just know that it was for me. It seem to cause me to feel more resentment. I know that's not what you want from her.

You remind me of my H and so many others that have said how they want to know the WAW is in the M 100%. Oh, did I hear that, too! But, I could not tell him that for a while. I wasn't even sure that I could. Those first months are so hard for both people. Just try to let her be willing "to be willing" to work on the MR. Every day is a baby step. May not be what you prefer, but it may be all she can do right now.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!