Yes, I hear what you are saying. The LBH's here on the board have taught me so much about the pain they feel over the WAW in an A.
It's so hard for both people. So much awful, awful stuff to work through and to heal. I don't blame the H one bit for wanting his W to stay out of her love for him. If it were turned around...I KNOW that is how I would have been!
What I say is from my heart. I did not have any desire to be M, nor did I feel any good thing for my H at the time I was in the place that GW's W is in now. But, I had been raised right. I had been taught the right thing to do. I knew what I would be distroying and how many I would take down...if I left. So, with the help from the folks here...and the prayers of my loved one, I had the grit and grace to stay.
What happens when the children grow up and leave? It can be quite nice, acutally. By then, the couple can have a new lease on life...and devote more time to each other. My children were grown with families when I had an EA. I was so embarrassed to think I would do such a thing! But, those grown children and those grandbabies....are some of those "right" reasons I stayed here. Now, I thank God every day that I was given that chance! My H is a gem, but I had to learn to appreciate him, to respect him...and to love him again.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
