Ask her. Or ask her if she's ever heard the position of "standing" for your marriage. First and foremost though, she should be pro-marriage. If she's not, then you should find someone else. You should have someone who is willing to uphold the belief in marriage and will work to that end. Not someone who works on what your W is feeling now.
My W and I went to one marriage counseling session after I found out about her EA. She went right in and said it was over and the sooner we were D'd the better. The counselor looked at me and said that there was nothing he could do and that was the last time I saw him.
I recently ran into him and he asked how things were. I told him we were still married (although separated), however we have re-established our friendship. He was very surprised because at the time there was no changing my W's tune.
I really believe that you have to adapt your DBing based on your own circumstances. Not just because everyone's different, but also because everyone's timing is different. I believe DB touches upon doing things at the right time. Like if you know your W isn't a morning person, you don't start a R talk at 7 a.m.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
