Thanks for your note last night. You should open your own web site for wayward husbands. One thing really struck me in your post and that was how you where stuck in a rut. That is where we are right now stuck in the mud. I know a couple of things: One is my wife tells me she still loves me but in so many words is not in love with me. The second thing is she is hurting really bad and must feel very trapped/frustrated in what is happening.
Both of these facts she has told me. Your comments above echo those feelings exactly of how you felt. You got out of your rut when you stopped using the OM as tonic to help with your problems in your marriage.
Let's face it Sue we all want to talk to someone that makes us feel good and validates our point of view. The hardest thing to do is accept your own part for any failure in a marriage. It has taken me sometime to realize this and that I need to work on myself. I am sure that the OM still makes her feel good.
I understand your point about recovery and living near OM. But still having a stay at home dad across the street from us makes it very hard. Also the neighbors seem to know what is going on (someone called me to tell me of the affair 6 weeks ago).
So I am not sure if staying near him will ever work. Too much closeness with the kids etc. It might have been much tougher for you if OM lived right across the street.
I will continue to take your advice and try to be her friend and create a safe place for her. Do you think showing her some posts from people on this web site would be helpful. I find them very helpful and wounder if she would. I think the reason she is feeling so trapped is becasue this topic can only be discussed with OM. She can't talk about it with her parents friends or me right now. No one really understands what she is going through
