Even DR speaks of the cheating spouce needing to reassure the jilted spouse after an affair. And when that does not happen things can go very bad...
Agreed.
Can you bring this up in marriage counseling?
You are going to need to be reassured, and she should be willing to, or at the very least understand that.
Quote:
Am I being too needy?
Is 'wanty' a word? You have been through alot, and so has your wife, marriage hits a horrible spot and you want all these things that you believe will show you that everything is better and fixed, and you want them NOW. It's a bit like overcompensating.
Build this new foundation slowly over time. There is no quick fix to this, pace yourself and control yourself.
IC's...
Does your IC actually challenge you? Or just agree with you? For instance:
You - "I think 3 months is more than enought time for her to figure stuff out."
Your IC - "I agree!"
Your IC is there for you to help you, he/she isn't talking to your wife (right?) so the only insight they have about her is from what you provide.
If you go in and they see how much your wifes actions / inactions are hurting you, well there is a very quick fix to that, get rid of your wife, heck three months is a long time!
But that's not why you are here.
And three months...isn't really all that long compared to the rest of your life.
Time, used wisely is your friend. Time wasted...that is when it hurts you.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
