At the same time, as Al Turtle points out in his work on boundaries, "all people act at their own pace. Trying to speed them up often produces the opposite result" of freezing and leaving them stuck longer.
I feel this part of the boundary concept has sometimes been overlooked here, in people's eagerness to have newbies not make the same (necessary) mistakes that they themselves have made.
I agree, and I think that is a good deal of the DB point. Every person is different and every relationship is different, has it's own characteristics, personalities, and pace is part of that.
