Piecing

[sandi2]

But at least I don't feel like quite such a loser for not being able to change some of those patterns on my own.

Alright young lady, what have I told you about this? (Just kidding) It just kills me to see you think about yourself in such a negative image. You are not a loser!

As I've told you before, I understand depression and I have been on AD's for years. It took some time before I found one that worked for me. But here's the thing sweetheart...the thought patterns will have to be formed into brand new thoughts in your mind/heart. The meds will help lift your mood but from what I've experienced, you just plain have to work with a determination that you will have a different attitude and thought process. I think stopping these thoughts of being a loser would be a good place to begin, don't you?

If you aren't in IC, I think it would help you b/c this has been a life long battle(if I'm remembering right) and you need someone to teach you how to do what you need to do for yourself.

I had to stop beating myself to a mental pulp and calling myself ugly names whenever I goofed up, made an error, etc. That is a very unhealthy thing to do to ourselves. Maybe that is why my LL is words of affirmation.....and maybe that is why I listen to a silver tongued OM.

I'm scared my H does not believe I need it because he doesn't seem to respond much if I bring it up

I know, my H is the same way! You want them to engage in a conversation, but that probably won't happen. We have to learn to accept that. If they don't know how to express concern or how to carry on an adult conversation.....whatyou going to do?

Why do you need his approval or him believing you really need the AD's? You don't have to answer that b/c I already know. You want his approval and you think he doesn't believe you need the meds based on his response. The trouble with us W's who have H's that don't talk is that we mind read. We don't always do it very well.

I think though that he's reached his limit with serious talk. And he's got his own stuff he's working through too. So in a lot of ways I'm on my own again.

You are probably right. It's very difficult when both people are depressed. Talking may be therapy for you, but for him....it addes so much pressureto his burden. You need to talk the serious stuff with another woman until things get better. Notice, I said another woman.

You are loved. You are priceless! Never forget that!