Moving to the next phase of what?

[peacetoday]

C

New R ,dating ect can be confusing
I think what has helped me the most is Im so busy..
working.. friends and kids
that I only have so much time to spend thinking about BF
so that works
R dont have to be hard, and by focusing on us and being non critical toward the other,i think it makes a good trial run for a new R
Im lucky my Bf is very easy to deal with and not living together makes it easier..just what I want --easy fun friendship
peace

[TRUSTING]

Cagz,
Same goes for a new relationship, no expectations, move slow and enjoy the positives. Enjoy....

[cagzmom]

thats what is weird .. it isn't a "relationship" but we "like" each other.. just so wierd.

oh well.. again glad I see my c tonight!!

[cagzmom]

wow counseling was so revealing.

we go through all of this.. and we heal. but their are layers beneath that need work as well - but they hide underneath our cave.

by opening up my heart a tiny bit - it has brought out a place that i need more healing. NOTHING to do with my x.. everything to do with who I have been. the unhealthy side of me that was who met my x.

i was extremely co-dependent LONG before i met my x. i have healed from the hurt of him. .. will probably always have to work on trust and other issues.. but this part of me is beyond him.

as a co-dependent person I let others rule my value, my worth. no more. it is time to heal that person. it is time for me to continue to like who I am and who i have become. the heart side of it caused me to get all tangled up and confused. i was really ok being single and alone etc. AND I need to be there but know that i can still "feel"...

this is going to be one very interesting journey!!

[kissak]

by opening up my heart a tiny bit - it has brought out a place that i need more healing. NOTHING to do with my x.. everything to do with who I have been. the unhealthy side of me that was who met my x.

i was extremely co-dependent LONG before i met my x. i have healed from the hurt of him. .. will probably always have to work on trust and other issues.. but this part of me is beyond him.

That is interesting...Glad to see you doing so well!

Soooo, did you get snow your way today??? Nothing but ice here on the coast

[cagzmom]

kissak - no we didn't get any snow.. just a bit slushy icy. ugh.

i am doing well.. just healing and growing. lol

[cagzmom]

Funny, you think your done and that nothing will bother you and it does. Filled with lots of anger.. its ok I will survive... thats what I do.

X is moving about 1.5 miles from me.. into our old neighborhood, actually like pretty much on the same street, same house floor plan... with the new family. AND of course he is now trying to be "family man." PUKE!!

Because of this new move he now wants d14 earlier on Christmas. Shoot to be honest I don't even know who's holiday it is. He has NOT been even close to involved or tried in 4 years AND NOW he is coming back around??!!! soooo what do i do? d14 is sad..she feels like he is making anew family - so screw me??!! Whatever. It just [censored].

This is the part of divorce that is the hardest and the worst!

Last night I had a melt down. I cried like I haven't cried in probably 2 years. So much pain.. so tired of pain.

New guy and I are at a good place. A RIGHT place. Really trying to develop a friendship.. but with the holidays and he is going out of town with his kids after Christmas.. so he is "out" of my scope for awhile.

My heart is pretty tired.. the muscles have been used lots and lots lately.. good and bad. Just tired.

[TRUSTING]

Oh Cagz,

Holidays are so hard, just when we think we are good, they throw arrows at our heart.

They connect with the kids, everyone, etc... before us. His showing interest in his child is a positive even though it hurts. Hug your daughter for me though.