Your H has been free with the words in the past. Tune out the words and pay attention to his ACTIONS. As you noted, it seems like some of his actions support his words, so that's a good thing. HOWEVER, take it really slow...actions over time can be believed. Actions right around the holidays when he's feeling sorry for himself? Big grain of salt.
So. My advice? Get clear for yourself about YOUR requirements for him in order for you to be willing to try to reconcile. Post your list here. Once you are absolutely clear on what you are and are not willing to accept and the steps H must take for you to give him a chance, tell him.
Tell him calmly, matter of fact-ly. "H, I am open to exploring whether we can reconcile, but I am very clear about what I expect from you and what I am willing to accept/do. If you can agree to this list, then we can move forward. If you cannot, I completely respect that, but I know what I need and deserve in a M, so I'll have to move on."
In short, make him prove it with actions.
I'm behind in your sitch, so I'm not certain about this. Is it possible his lawyer gave him bad news about his chances to get everything he was trying to get? Just asking, because your H has been pretty manipulative and tried to screw you over in the past. Color me skeptical.
If he's not willing to agree with your conditions, then go dark. No movies, no texts, no phone calls. Action is the only way home.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
