Preparing to file, Looking for advice here!

[amg2]

Hello all,
I love the humor here. Not that it's a funny situation, at all. I use humor so much to get through this that I've been asked more than once if I have a boyfriend (which I don't and never did). I love Soleil's tag line "Got a ticket to the D concert". I figure I'm getting ready to buy my ticket for a ride on the "D Train".

Newmama, I remember you from the other boards back in Feb-March of 2010 when I was new to this. Yeah I'm not sure about this kids thing...but I can definitely say that I CAN'T imagine doing it with kids OR having to see your ex on a regular basis. That really might be a whole different story for me. I have GALed a lot. Lot lot. But I think with the weather turning cold and maybe the holidays (not sure on that one) and approaching the one year mark, it's just a natural progression to move on legally. Most of me has already moved on emotionally. My stbx wanted to be "bud's" by going to dinner, etc. which I cut off back in Sept. by telling him I only wanted to talk business as long as he was behaving inappropriately as a H. Of course what he told people is I wouldn't talk to him anymore. He's very much a victim, and will be even more so with this D. I'm not SURE about anything to do w him as far as OP. I do know that on this most recent d day he was 1)caught having some sort of text/cell/probably physical rel w someone he met through work. 2)Having an inappropriate texting rel w a minor (I believe it wasn't sexual) and 3) injecting steroids. I stopped investigating or asking questions about 7 months ago so I don't know what he does. It has never been the textbook "She makes me happy, I'm leaving" situation. When I told him not to come home from work on d day he kept says "you mean, don't come to the house? Don't come home?" as if he didn't understand. He acted so bizarre that there's just no way of knowing. He has never said he wants a D, he still wants to attend my family functions (which I've cut out even though our families are VERY close). In short I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a GF and if he does it's not a real relationship, and he's in a corner that he doesn't know how to get out of, he knows he's f'd with me, he loves to be the victim, so he blames me/our marriage for his poor choices and then he does NOTHING.

I haven't heard back from the d bomb text. I didn't think I would. In nearly a year he's had almost nothing to say, in either direction, about anything. He's paralyzed. It's sad really. Hopefully he'll figure it out for himself at some point. I'm not expecting (crossed fingers) any problems with him over finances, etc in the D. Only problem could be that he doesn't seem to understand that he'll have to take ALL of his things and find a place to put them, that I'm not going to keep anything here.

I haven't figured out how to put this on my profile, but:
M--14 years
T--20 years, HS sweethearts
dday #1--2002 EA
dday #2--2005 bar sl*t
dday #3/4--texting/cell/physical/who knows what
Shortly after found out he had been injecting steroids for 2 years

As I type this I can't believe I wasn't here sooner.

THANK YOU