"Be decisive and do what your instinct knows is right and you will have your marriage back."
That.. is some "crazy talk".
Lets take the "Mass Banning" as an example.
"You" (Coach) clearly have a knot in your stomach about all of this. But to me.. DB mods drew a line in the sand. I have to assume that they edited some post's. People got a WTF attitude and asked why.
How is this any different to "standing up" to an affair?
The act of the mods here banning people was just not listening to them talk. They did exactly what a vast majority of the "old timers" recommend. They said.. what you are doing is not acceptable. If you keep doing it.. I am gonna tell you why I don't like it.. and cut you off.
Now.. that act has created quite the ruckus. Hurt feelings all around.
I don't get it.
Why do the mods here owe you anything?
I chose to stay away from the posts that had people "going after" their WAS. Simply because I did just that and it made things worse. So from my point of view.. exposing is not always the end all.
I am not picking on PDT here...
But I remember reading a post and PDT was pushing for her to "expose".
I remember jumping in and asking if this was really the best idea. The poster had already suggested that they may get "crazy". I also remember her following thru.. and stuff not turning out well.
LRT.. has a time and a place. Yet so many times I have seen that as the first step.
My place to post is not in those threads anymore.
"Pray for discernment and wisdom."
I question both of those things in your posts recently. If you are like me.. your focus has changed some.
At the end of the day.. we are both tasked with knowing our postee.
We by posting say.. I will hold your hand.. and help.
If you were truly DB'ing you would find a way to get your point across.
Yes.. there are times when exposing and filing for a D is DB'ing.
Yes.. there are times when you need to protect yourself from things that are happening in RL. What was her name.. MaryAngela?
No.. is there ever a time when a "old timer" should be leading a "Newcomer" to anything.
From what I "see" the poster leads. We just encourage them to try that.
When that fails.. we give them options.
Coach.. I expect newbies to fail.
It is part of the walk.
No matter how good you think you are.. you can't fix everything
They will come and find you.. when they really need help.
Leaders show up.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
