I failled horribly...

[FellOnBlackDays]

Dear Divorce Busters,
OK, now what? Upon the urging of a friend of mine, I broke her "communications blackout" and sent her a very friendly, breezy apology for something I did a few weeks ago (she tried to make contact and I blew her off as a warning that I was getting tired of her crap). I never actually said I "was sorry," but, in so many words, I made amends for what I did. No "I love you," no emotion, no talk of our relationship. I even ended it short and stated that I was late for a party. I wished her well and signed off just like I learned in DR.

For two days, I received no response. I pretty much figured she was pissed that I contacted her and was ignoring me as usual. I decided to let things go, went to the gym, worked out hard and had a good weekend with friends and family.

Out of the blue on Monday, I get a reply. It too was light and pleasant. In it she stated the following:

"Speaking of the "communications blackout"... I don't feel the need to take it so literally anymore. I appreciate your willingness to comply with what I've asked you to do, and I am thankful to have had some time to myself. Now that more time has passed, I just want you to know that it's OK if you need to contact me. If you need to ask me something or you have a request, feel free to email, text, or call me. I just felt that for a while it was getting crazy and I needed a break... I think from now on, we can communicate like adults. :-)"

So now what??? If you notice she clearly states, "if you need something or have a request, feel free to..." She didn't say, if you want to talk. I can't figure out if she is being pleasant because she wants me in a good mood when she serves me with divorce papers or if she is starting to actually miss me. Is has been 100 days since she walked out. Are the holidays starting to make her wonder about her decision? Is she moving to the "acceptance" phase of grief while I am clearly still deeply rooted in "anger" right now. I want to find good in this, but I no longer trust the woman I loved so deeply for 15 years.

This week she called my sister and had dinner with her. Yesterday, she called my mother to wish her a happy birthday. During the call, she told my mother she missed her and wanted to take her to lunch one day this week. My mother is apprehensive because she is still very angry about my wife leaving. What is my wife doing?? Two weeks ago, she walked in to my house without warning, walked past me like I was trash on the street, took her mail and walked out after saying 10 words to me. What is going on here??? I want to believe she might be turning around and may be thinking about coming home. But she could also be setting me up for the worst.

Advice? Anyone?

fellonblackdays