Preparing to file, Looking for advice here!

[amg2]

Thanks Barb. It's really a choice of evils for me. I'm 37, no kids, good job, good family. If I were at a different point in my life, I might have chosen to "wait out" the MLC. BUT, this wasn't the first "indiscretion"...by far not. My story sounds like a move and had elements I can't even discuss b/c of potential job loss, etc. As I said I've been separated for 10 months. Really doing a lot, keeping busy, making and reconnecting with friends. I've also taken up running which is something I didn't do previously b/c stbx had a bad back and wasn't "allowed" to. I had planned to give myself a reprieve from thinking about any BS over the holidays and rest up for filing at the beginning of the new year. HOWEVER, somehow decided to drop what I call the "d bomb" tonight via text. Now doing this by text might sound questionable, but given my ex's inability to step up and talk about ANYTHING, I felt little need to "do the right thing". I don't really know what he does, I don't investigate and haven't for about 7 months. The d day "indiscretions" were not LTRs that I'm aware of. He has really never "shown up" in our marriage, and continues this now. Without me telling him what to do he does...nothing. So he has told friends that he's surprised I haven't yet filed, but we don't talk. I don't care to hear any of what he has to say. It's meaningless. I don't think he has a GF (could be wrong) but he has done so much crazy BS as part of his MLC, and he needs someone to blame and that someone is ME.

So I've recognized for a while that he can't be dealt with. And I certainly don't take this decision lightly. And until I've actually filed I guess it's not official. BUT, I'm certainly not looking for a rise out of him with this or anything. I really just accept defeat, recognize an unworkable situation, enjoy myself and my freedom, and think this is the right thing to do soon. I am going to discuss all of this further with my church, but that discussion won't change the outcome of the impending D.

It feels refreshing to be here with others in my situation. Thank you.