When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

Sorry guys, I'm having a rough time right now. It's most likely a combination of the cold (yes, I know, it's not that cold compared to other parts of the country but it's been crazy cold for here), I'm coming down with something (chest congestion and coughing), still dealing with grief and feeling sorry for myself.

Yeah, it's not a pretty picture in my head right now.

I've started to insulate myself from everyone and everything. It's not healthy but I'm finding it impossible not to. Went to church Sunday and avoided everyone I know. Made sure to get there 2 minutes late so there would be no seating anywhere but the balcony where no one I know sits. Avoided my family after church. Skirted out the door as fast as I could while avoiding eye contact. Normally I would have called a friend to see if they wanted to get together to watch a movie or something this weekend sometime. Nope. Didn't do it. I don't sleep much. I go to work, work late most nights, and then come home to make something for dinner and then plop on the couch for the remainder of the night without moving.

Today my cousin sent me a text to ask if I was going to Florida on the 27th. Soon after mom died she had told me that she and her daughter were going to have to go to Ft. Walton for a basketball tournament the week between Christmas and New Year's. Our cousin lives down there so we could visit with her too. I had realized when she was talking about it originally I had just jumped in and invited myself along without thinking about it. How rude! I was so embarrassed that I had done that and I never mentioned it again. Also, I had sent my cousin in Florida a cute little mooning elf text at Thanksgiving and she responded that she was offended (OMG!) and that embarrassed me horribly too. I don't think I could face her after that. I feel I'm in the way anyway so best if I just cocoon here that week. Heck, maybe I'll give up my vacation time and just work that week.

UGH...see what I mean? Bad, bad, bad time right now.