What does your gut tell you is most likely to be helpful in YOUR situation?
There's a ton of advice out there, and as Sandi pointed out, much of it at least appears contradictory. You can't keep jumping strategies.
More importantly, advice is just advice. Your job is to synthesize what you hear on this board and make it applicable to your personal situation. Ultimately you have to fulfill the role of being a man and make decisions that you feel are most likely to be beneficial to the mess you and your wife are in.
Have you ever tried to convince a kid that a pair of jeans from Walmart is just as good as a pair of jeans from Aeropostale, Gap, American Eagle, or Tommy Hilfiger?
When you try to rekindle romance with your wife while she is in the throes of a new romance high from the OM, you are like the pair of jeans from Walmart.
Just keep that in mind.
It takes a confident and secure man, as well as one who loves his wife completely, to survive dealing with a woman on withdrawal from a new love. This cuts us as men in every single one of the most hurting ways. And yet your role is to somehow brush it aside and realize that in many ways she is like an addict coming off a serious high.
It takes awhile to come back to reality. It won't happen just because OM's wife tells her to stop. It won't happen just because OM yields to his wife and issues a NC order.
It happens with time.
Meanwhile, what do you do?
What is she going to see out of you while she is going cold turkey? Is she going to see those Walmart jeans chasing her around, or is she going to see a new, fresh, and exciting pair of jeans that SHE has to pursue?
You have to find a way to check your emotions and cut to the chase. You can only do YOU.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
