my h and son gave me necklace

[MrBond]

You can find my situation by doing a search on my name.

"why do i feel like i always have to defend myself with you."

Because you feel my questions are provoking. Read them again. They are not. I think you're just uncomfortable at answering them. You've had a pattern of ignoring questions (not just from me) that you don't want to answer, but are necessary to get healthy.

Like the advice about getting more support professionally. When you said your son was cutting himself, that was a real concern. But you left it up to your son whether or not he wanted to go. And then you dropped the subject.

Then when the question came up about why your H should come back to you in terms of looking at positives in your life, you never responded.

Just a few months ago you posted how your H was wasting money and how you were wondering how you were going to survive. Then now you post that he got you a necklace that you deserved.

That type of mixed thinking is not healthy and I've said it before, I'm very worried about you. I'm the only one that's stuck with you so far. Everyone else has seemingly given up.

You want to bust your D, fine. But you have to start being honest about everything in order to come up with a plan of action. Or do you want to stay depressed like this for 4 more years?