I am getting to a point where I am ready to drop the rope except of course for the kids broken little hearts and my own welfare, being the man, I'd get royally screwed in D court.
I believe you said you are in a "No Fault Divorce" State. Most states are 50/50. I do not understand why you hang on to this "Myth". Have you actually talked to a Lawyer?
Nobody wins in a Divorce. NOBODY. Don't let fear of Divorce be the reason you do not stand up for yourself.