Sorry Sandi... I know its not healthy to be a doormat, and it never does say so in the book. I think the "doormat" is more of a perception thing. Just like "eating cake". Some people would like to call it being patient, letting the spouse have space to think, and not leaving or setting boundaries during the time they are having an EA/PA. And I for one did all of these and at that time did not feel like a doormat(most of the time anyway), as part of that feeling is when you allow your spouse's action to hurt you or anger you (when you are not detached).
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
