Got back from the party around 10:00 and there was a text from W "call me ASAP". When I called she was crying and said GFIL had passed away. She didn't want to talk but was heading home from the hospital to get some sleep.
I called a couple friends and my parents and decided to rent a car and leave the next morning. The earliest car rental pickup was at 6:00 AM and I was there waiting in the cold.
W called me at 10:30 and she had just woken up. I told her I was almost there. She asked "why?" I told her I didn't want to cause any trouble with the family, but wanted to be there, that I'd be getting a hotel room and would just be in town for a couple days. She texted me another hotel she had noticed and that I should try it.
Shen I got in town I texted her asking if I should bring her lunch. She said "with fam now, no thanks". I drove by the house, it was nice being incognito in a rental car, and there were lots of cars coming and going. Some I recognized as her family. I got some work done and checked into the hotel, watched some football and took a nap.
She texted asking if I would come help her later in the afternoon. When I got there she was recording a new answering machine greeting with the funeral details. The phone had been ringing off the hook all day, and all the people I'd seen stopping by were bringing casseroles. Wow, southern tradition I guess, but what is W going to do with them? Her aunt had come and helped for part of the day.
She had some mac and cheese on the stove and said "usually that's good comfort food, but not tonight". I took her out for dinner and to get some drinks and things for the house. She feels responsible for that also, with all the family flying in the next day. I'm impressed how she can keep going, and was glad to help. I wish she could turn it all off sometimes.
She had a Christmas present for me and I had one for her. Then we watched her favorite show Desperate Housewives Atlanta and I gave her a back rub. About 11:30 she said she needed to get to bed.
She called on my way back to the hotel and we talked for a while. She thanked me for keeping it low key, said she felt like a zombie. I said that's completely understandable and it was a good time. She thanked me several times and said she felt overwhelmed by everything and appreciated the help.
We had planned lunch for the next day, but she called to say she wasn't feeling well, then texted later "too much going on, I can't leave. Sorry. Thank you for coming to take care of me".
W had e-mailed me the obituary, and I found it in the newspaper the next day as well. All the other husbands are listed except for me. That stung. I'm sad that I didn't get to see him again, but I know he'd want me to be there.
I really don't know what happens now. W has a lot of decisions to make. She doesn't have the burden of taking care of him any more, and she doesn't need his financial help either. What all this means if she still wants to D me I have no idea. Texas is community property, but I know there are provisions protecting inheritance. Will probably talk to my lawyer just to see. It does make sense now that she was under such family pressure to get it done before now.
Planning to ask off from work to make the funeral on Thursday. That should be interesting. Maybe I'll sit with FIL as he'll be the only person less popular than me there. lol.
I feel like everything just changed, but have no idea what that means yet.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK