for NTGR

[sgctxok]

SO I backslide a bit this AM. My H recieved a Yahoo IM at 3:30 AM. He said it was a SPAM. I didn't beleive it as I never heard of such a thing on IM. After a smart-a$$ comment by me he insisted on me looking at his phone to see the latest messages. Well he was right, I was wrong. I am upset with myself but also defensive. Being trust is so precarious I almost feel justified. Do I apolozie or just let it go?

[sgctxok]

That was posted by NTGR on a different thread.

[sgctxok]

And from the Piecing forum:

Thx dbmod for this info. I am really wondering where I am in this.
My H and I have had NO R talks about any personal issues but talk alot about doing things together, around the house, garden etc with each other.
He still occasionally spews venon when drinking heavily (major increase in the last 6 months). He will throw in my face names of 20-30 year old women that he sees.
In my earlier posts I mentioned I had no idea when these trysts were taking place as he is constantly texting, IMing, emailing me from his office during the day. At night he is home every single night with me or we are together out doing things. All things we have always done.
We sleep in the same bed but no affection at all. He gave me a quick peck on the lips Sunday night cause I cooked a killer dinner. Other than that zero physically. Its been alooooong time since a real kiss, hug has happened.
So where the HE*L are we?

[sgctxok]

that was 12/7


this one is 12/8

Thanks. I am really trying to stay optimistic.
Good news, last night H and I had dinner at one of our favorite places.
He starts telling me he is concerned for his health as he has been losing weight (doesnt need to) and sleep has been fleeting for some time. Also, his exhaustion is apparent.
He says he wants to see his MD for a physical. This is HUGH for H as this has only happened 1 other time in our 10 years together and it was at my provocation.
I asked him if he thought his issues were physical and or emotional. He say " I dont know, really". Again, HUGH for this man.
However, I know he may very well change his mind in a heartbeat.So I am not holding out for it. But just the awareness after so much cloudy stuff, I think he is moving forward. I offered to make a luch for him thiss AM, which I haven't been doing since August as I have felt and said as much to him " If Im not going to be a real wife, then I'm not going to play one". He was very grateful and gave me a kiss and hug. Again I see this as cautious progress.

[sgctxok]

and in newcomers today posted

SO I backslide a bit this AM. My H recieved a Yahoo IM at 3:30 AM. He said it was a SPAM. I didn't beleive it as I never heard of such a thing on IM. After a smart-a$$ comment by me he insisted on me looking at his phone to see the latest messages. Well he was right, I was wrong. I am upset with myself but also defensive. Being trust is so precarious I almost feel justified. Do I apolozie or just let it go?

[sgctxok]

How does it usually go when you've done something similar and apologized?

[NTGR]

I apologized, gave him a brief hug and said " I am sorry, I overreacted. Trust is hard for me right now". He said he was going to call Yahoo to see how to increase security on his phone. Since then we have texted back and forth (medical insurance issues) and all is well again. This is generally what happens. Since its has been a long time since I have had a jealous moment, I was unsure how this would play itself out and if I had done too much damage but it seems he is forgiving.

[NTGR]

Thanks for transfering me over here. I am a bit challenged in the cut-and-paste on this side.