Everything that SA said is true. As bad as the pain is now, you will be able to find a new found pride in your ability to cope successfully on your terms. BUT, that doesn't help the pain now, does it? It's like a hurt you want to rub and make better, but you just can't reach?
I spent weeks in a fog, working with a smile on my face, dying for it to be time to come home, where I would slide into bed, take something to help me sleep, and just get away from it for awhile. The awful reality. First, and I'm not advocating pharmaceutical dependantcy, see your doctor and explain the situation. Get something for the anxiety before it eats your lunch. You can't be the best you you can be for yourself or your kids if you are a nervous wreck.
It's just all part of taking control and taking care of yourself. The hardest part for me was learning that I couldn't help him in any way, I had to take care of me.
Second, it sounds as if you should go dark for a period of time. Call it a restful resort experience. No contact; no frustration and pain. It helps heal YOU, while giving him a taste of what it would be like to be without you. I understand you have young children, but he is proposing taking himself out of their lives for all intents and purposes, let him. ONLY HAVE CONTACT WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
All this is just MHO, but if I had listened to the people on the Board that told me the same, and not tried to keep 'fixing' things for him, I would have spared myself a lot of grief.
When you need to vent, we are here. Let us have it. We can take it because we've all been there. ((HUGS))
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
