First rule to keep in mind at all times. Believe nothing they say and only 50% of what they do.
I know this is easier said than done but detaching from his drama will make you feel so much better.
If there are things that the kids do that you can handle yourself, do it. Whether you want it to or not the guilt that the MLCer feels because of the kids drives them further away.
You have a choice in this MLW and that is to take back your power. You do not have to let what your H is doing rule how you feel. Your H is on a journey. One that you can't help him with. You didn't break him and you can't fix him. Use this time to take one of your own. Figure out who MLW is and what she wants for herself.
Continue to be the rock for your kids. Having one sane parent in this to go to is vital. It is so important for them and something they'll never forget.
Your son, if you haven't already, may be able to understand about what his Dad is going through. It's not an excuse for his Dad's behavior, but it is an explanation. It has helped my children not to take their Dad's actions personally. I do stay out of the R between my kids and their Dad, but I do hear of the occasional truth dart they send his way.
I know the anger it creates in you to have everything that the two of you once shared just dumped in your lap to handle. I worked through that anger and you know what? It's turned into pride in myself that I can do it, and the majority of the time I'm doing a darn good job!
