It is amazing how much you sound like me!! I can totally relate to how you feel! The whole "how could I ever let someone treat me so poorly and want them to come home" is a huge issue for me still. When I go over all my XH has done to me in the last three years, I too think..how could I ever want someone who could do this back?? And I think the answer is that you know deep inside they are not this person they are now, that they have been taken over by the MLC alien and until that alien is gone this is who they are and that alien might never leave and to accept that is near impossible.
My XH was always the one who pursued me too, and wanted constant affection from me, I am sure he told the OW the same things that yours told his, and it is just plain wrong and nuts. My D17, then 16, called the OW a whore to her face too, I was not there, but it was a huge mess that he caused, cause they had told him they wanted nothing to do with her and they never did have anything to do with her, but that is a very long story. The things my XH did to my kids is beyond awful and they have huge issues with him to this day because of it! I keep trying to be the one who facilitates the relationship, but just today told him I was done doing that. He is coming up to my house for Christmas and I am sure we will have a lovely time, cause when he is here with us, he is out of the tunnel. You don't have to give up just cause you are divorced, I haven't and we have been divorced for 19 months, OW has only been gone for 11 of those months, and there has been another horrible woman in between, but for some reason I keep holding on, but it is easier for me cause he is 700 miles away. It should get interesting soon, cause D17 is coming back to live with me and there will be no need for constant contact as we have had due to issues with D17.
Everything everyone says about the OW on here is true, as hard as it is to allow someone to think things that are sooo false, there is nothing you can do about that, they live in a fantasyworld all their own.
Hang in there, it does get better and easier! Just don't back down on things that really matter to you and the kids in the divorce, stay strong when it comes to that!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
