This is hard, I know. What you are going through is VERY difficult. The hurt may seem unbearable now, but you will survive this. You have to focus on yourself and your children now.
I haven't read too far back into your sitch, so please forgive me if I tell you something you already know;
The best thing you can do right now is talk to a lawyer and get a good counseler for yourself. Detach from your H. Don't discuss anything but finances, legal stuff, and kids. This is not to get him to miss you. Right now your priority is to get space to protect yourself emotionally.
It really does get better. Unfortunately it takes time and work though.
