Honestly, I wonder about that too sometimes. About the damage from lack of affection can cause in a marriage for a length of time. It's been a month since we started sleeping in separate rooms and it still bugs me. (I know, I know DBers it shouldn't) I'm not used to it. I want the pit in my stomach to go away, but not for the wrong reasons.
I wonder at what point will/if I just stop caring about "us" because of the lack of affection/intimacy. That thought pains me. My wife, to her credit, noted this. What keeps me from going down that road is that my wife seems to have hope that she can see us returning to a romantic, married relationship. Of course, I do but I am too eager for my own good.
But I can't do this for years and years, I have told her that. I know that I can do it for the time being because I do see little things that shows she does care. I know, I know - shouldn't focus on her. But also because I do love her dearly and I do envision a future for us.
Before we started dating she chased me around for 6 months trying to get me to go out with her. I at least owe her that and the chance to become someone she can fall in love with...if not I will have my sanity and confidence to move on. Sometimes, I think dang it, I deserve to have someone who wants to be with me and shows me.
It's funny how similar are situations are...even the fact that we are both 40.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
