I feel you man. I am in close to the same boat. Except that we aren't sleeping in the same bed and we are just working on building our friendship back, then going to more.
Luckily, my wife is 100% committed to working on our marriage and divorce talk has been thrown out the window. (I do understand its temptation though.)
I find that is it hard to deal with the anger, resentment, loneliness, etc. Especially when I think the OM got to see the best of my W and got to have the best interactions with her during the EA. Some days will be tough. I accept that. Somedays, it will be easier and it will get easier with time.
I know a tenant of DB is that you don't focus on the other person, but focus on yourself. You can do a lot to pep yourself up. But I also believe that it's okay to have these feelings and okay to let them out (usually to yourself).
You are not alone in how you feel and I recognize that there are a lot of people on here who would trade situations with me in a second. That perspective helps a lot.
As I told someone, it took my W and I 8 months to get to this point, it's not going to be fixed in a day, week or even month.
the best we can hope for is keep your eye on what is important to you, work on yourself and sometimes just keep breathing.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
