"does anyone think i should just go dark> any suggestions"
You have lots of suggestions. You are just choosing not to act upon them. There is not much to say other than I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It [censored]. I did not enjoy it either. The issue becomes we can't help you fix it until you make a move one way or the other.
Being where you are (your mental state) is part of the walk my friend. You have to find a way out of that. I will promise you all the "sunshine" posts in the world won't help you.
I am a firm believer in that what you read and "see" here in peoples postings.. really is amplified in real life.
So...
"Just feel like my situation is hopeless."
What word would people use to describe you right now.. if the just saw you out somewhere?
How can you change that?
If you want to know Bworl's marital status (as if it is truly important).. look up his posts. Do your homework.. don't wait for someone to give you the answers!
The people that change things in their lives.. are leaders no mater whether they "win" or "fail". The funny thing is that if you can read their story "here" they all have a post somewhere that looks a lot like yours so far.
Stop focusing on what you have going on at home.. focus on the posts you have not responded to here. There are tons of things there to keep you quite busy.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
