"You need to find out what need your spouse is fulfilling by spending time with this person so that you can do a better job fulfilling that need yourself. You need to make some changes. Don't tell your spouse tha tyou are going to change or that things will be different, just start acting differently."
so if sex is the issue, then i should be having better/more sex with my h while he's having sex with OW as well cuz i'm trying to fill this need of his?
at what point do you realize that the WAS is cake eating with all this sex he's getting?
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And then of course, take care of yourself, do the things that make you happy, because that is more attractive, and you deserve to be happy.
something doesn't sit well with me on this because you are basically saying .. spouse is priority #1 and the LBS is priority #2. when your WAS has already put you on the low priority list, putting yourself #2 basically confirms to the WAS that you are of lesser value. how is this attractive?
when you're focused on filling your spouse's needs, you will come across as needy and clingy .. and that's unattractive.
