Hope it's not too late

[ScaredinCanada]

Do you have kids?

That's my biggest issue now. I want to be there for my kids. My W knows that, and I know she wants that. She doesn't have any intention of taking my kids away from me, but at the same time if we were to seperate I would automatically see the kids less - it would be a given.

I think she's still not thinking about things, similar to me it's all emotional. She "doesn't love me anymore" so obviously why would she want to be with me? I've hurt her emotionally, so she wants to remove that hurt.

That's why it's so important for me to detach. I need to remove that dependance on her and let her come back to me - or if she doesn't at least try and get to a place where I'm ok with that. (I know it easy to say - hard to do).

Like this morning. My W calls me at work to ask me a question, I immediately hesitate. I'm not going to answer it - but I decide to anyways. She has a simple question which I answer, and I try to end the call. I say, "I need to go, have a good day". To which she sounds disappointed?!?!

So I call her back to "make sure everything is ok", and she says "you just sound upset/angry" to which I reply "no I'm just tired, and I tell her I'm fine and to have a good day".

I honestly believe a time will come when she wants to see the good in me, but I can't sit around waiting or expecting it to happen. She is stubborn by nature so I imagine it'll take some time.

I need to make me happy, focus on making the most of my life regardless of my W. I think you need to try and do the same.

I'm saying this as much to you as I am to me, it's a struggle - constantly.

Good luck.