i cam to talking to this friend cause she is a mutual friend of me and my wife. she texted me and told me they had gone to Atlanta and told me the basis of their conversations concerning me and my wife. my objectives in talking to this friend were to see if my wife had opened up to her and if any positive came from their conversation. maybe i shouldn't care but i do. i just told her i love my wife and didn't want a divorce
Perhaps you could provide some more details. How many messages have you sent and when did she stop responding?
It sounds like you have been sending multiple e-mails and made several phone calls. Unless there is an absolute necessity to contact her you need to stop this.
She will interpret your constant attention and 'interrogation' of your mutual friend as pressure. No need to necessarily go dark at this point but you do need to back way off and give her some space. Let her contact you.
Please accept this is going to take some considerable time. Are you prepared for that?
"does anyone think i should just go dark> any suggestions"
You have lots of suggestions. You are just choosing not to act upon them. There is not much to say other than I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It [censored]. I did not enjoy it either. The issue becomes we can't help you fix it until you make a move one way or the other.
Being where you are (your mental state) is part of the walk my friend. You have to find a way out of that. I will promise you all the "sunshine" posts in the world won't help you.
I am a firm believer in that what you read and "see" here in peoples postings.. really is amplified in real life.
So...
"Just feel like my situation is hopeless."
What word would people use to describe you right now.. if the just saw you out somewhere?
How can you change that?
If you want to know Bworl's marital status (as if it is truly important).. look up his posts. Do your homework.. don't wait for someone to give you the answers!
The people that change things in their lives.. are leaders no mater whether they "win" or "fail". The funny thing is that if you can read their story "here" they all have a post somewhere that looks a lot like yours so far.
Stop focusing on what you have going on at home.. focus on the posts you have not responded to here. There are tons of things there to keep you quite busy.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Forest i know im hard to deal with, but im going to do this starting today. No more conversations with her friends about us, no more i love yous or i miss yous. Our conversations will be about our child and nothing more. no more pursuing or begging. This is where im going to start. I am still taking care of myself i still hit the gym 4 days a week so thats not an issue. Going to start hanging out with my guy friends and quit feeling sorry for myself. I am a good husband and person i have made mistakes and know the things i have to change. Whether she comes back or not is her choice.
