sometimes im afraid i am going to have a heart attack when h does something that hurts me. I get chest pains and my heart beats fast and hard. i worry about my health sometimes, ive been going thru this so long. i have to stay well for my son.
My H and I never separated. Somehow, with me praying a lot, and trying to do all the things that I could to show him I care, even though I was having constant panic attacks, with chest pains, like you are having, I hid that, went to counseling to help, and found lots of books to help. One little book I found was "How To Save Your Marriage Alone". I kept that little book in my purse at all times. I wrote good bits of advice on every blank space in it. I followed that advice, and I did not give up. I still treasure that little book. I won't say 100 percent that our M is saved, I feel it is 85 to 90 percent. He still has not completely earned my trust, but it is getting better. I wanted to be a better person, not only for me, but because God wants me to be. I had to REALLY change.
Well, now you have to move forward with whatever you are going to do next. Hopeless sometimes turns to hope when it seems impossible. Get that little book I was telling you about, it is biblically based, I wouldn't have gotten it otherwise. I read the Bible all the time, too, but a little concrete advice from another source helps, too. Get it at Amazon for less than five or six dollars. If you are standing for your marriage, don't let someone tell you to divorce your H unless you are ready to give up.
Tell me, what is your exact situation now? Your H is living with his M? Is ow living there also? Is ow still married to her H? How much contact do you have with your H? Are there ever any opportunities for the two of you to connect without your getting angry? For you to show a sweeter side to him? I am not suggesting you change your personality, but I am suggesting you read in the Bible on how a W is supposed to treat her H, even when H is doing wrong. You still love H, don't you? I put up with crap that I said I never would put up with in a H, because I had by the time he had an A, or EA, become a Christian, and I tried to let God take over, and show me how to behave. Even now, I don't bring up the A. If your H does want to come back to you, then make it possible for him to be comfortable with you. We have some things in common, we have been married quite awhile, we both have one child, a son, yours is about two yrs younger than mine, we both believe God can help. You have had some very good sources for help, but putting them into practice seems to be beyond you. But, try again, really try, and let H see the difference in you. Christmas is a good time to do this.
My h is living with his mother and ow. My neighbor who is a relative of my MIL sent me a religious xmas card today. I have not spoken to her since h left in feb. it was so nice to get it. She addressed it to mrs d ----- which was nice she was acknowledging that h and i are still m. Im sure this woman has met ow too, when mil was in hospital. i dont speak to h. i text him very rarely about son or try to just email about money or son. The thing that makes me worry is that when h makes a decision he usually never changes his mind, he knows what he wants.He has no conscience either, when he is doing really unfair things to people he always finds a way in his mind to twist the truth to make everything he does ok, he has no guilt. he was suppose to give his sister a part of a large inheritance and he kept it all for himself. I always thought in the back of my mind if he would do that to his own sister would he be loyal to me?
