What is acceptable in a "friendship?" Where are the lines drawn? How does one conduct himself to preserve ones self-respect during this phase?
Accept for dbmod, the answer has been that there can not be a friendship with an unfaithful spouse, as long as the affair is ongoing. There are many reasons for this point of view:
1) It puts the LBS in a secondary position; it cements the impression (in the minds of everyone involved) that you are willing to accept less than you deserve (Unattractive).
2) It keeps the LBS tied to a dysfunctional relationship. As a result, we needlessly waist precious time and energy in an unproductive emotional environment, unconducive to self-healing (unattractive).
Please feel free to add to this list; it's a work in progress.
On the other hand, the official position of this site, as stated by dbmod, says:
Quote:
what we do here [is] encourage each other to bring more love into our marriages.
These goals are not apposed to each other. dbmod goes on to say:
Quote:
Why not just be less available. Reduce the frequency of seeing her. If you're seeing her all week, why not limit it to once a week or once every two weeks. Let her miss you.
In other words, the LBS shouldn't be trying too hard; it's not healthy, not sexy, not attractive.
