First off thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts. They are very honest and very much appreciated. I hope this forum does not bring up too many bad feelings for you. I hope you find comfort that you are helping people like myself through a very very tough time. You are a very strong person and should be proud of how you have evolved through some very tough times. So from the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for your thoughts.
Sue, I have been trying to be her friend for most of the year. I guess the problem was that she was in an EA and did not really care that I was trying to be her friend. In fact it made her mad when I was nice because she did not have an excuse to be nasty to me.
You right I probably do make your head spin because so does mine all the time. They say time heals all wounds. But I must say having someone right across the street from you, kids going to the same preschool, playgroup and him being a stay at home dad make it very tough.
I really think that the only way maybe to get into recovery is to move away from him. Otherwise there is still way too much contact with him. It sounds like your OM lives away from you and your chances of seeing him are much less.
I must say I don't know if I have the patience all the time to deal with what is happening. It has never been my style in my life business and personnel to just sit back and let things happen. Not sure if that is good or bad. I know the good is that this has given me a chance to improve myself and find out what I am really all about.
I really want to ask my wife if she misses him and that it is OK for her too. I know they had an attachement and I want to offer my help. But as you said she is probably not ready to accpet it yet. She has used the term safe feelings or saftey net with me in the past. That she has not felt safe with me.
Last word on friendship. Have you ever had someone that tried to be your friend too hard. That was really a turn off and you did not think that person was real. Maybe that is a little of what we are going through.
Detach, be cool, don't get mad, follow your heart, listen to her, be her friend. Lot's of stuff to do. Thank you again you are a great person for helping all us wayward men find love with their wives.
