My instinct is telling me to go to the mediation and simply state that nothing will happen due to the fact that H is not there. I am not going to mediate without his representation of himself.
I am not going to go in there an tell them to give me everything including a quick divorce. I don't want the divorce. I don't think H wants a divorce, he just hasn't admitted it yet.
This ^^^^^^^ sounds like a fair and honest approach. You will have nothing to regret if you do this. Until and unless you are really done with the M it makes no sense for you to D H. I think you were at that point out of frustration awhile ago.........but after your conversation with H it doesn't sound as though you are as certain now.
GAG
I totally agree with GAG. If things are up in the air, no reason to make any decisions that can't be made later. It's far easier to make this done later than it is to UNDUE what might be done.
As for your H, I can only go by what I've seen with mine, but I think their fear that our changes are temporary is huge. Fortunately, my H was willing to discuss things. I told him it wasn't my job to "convince" him of anything. I knew my changes were real and that was good enough for me. But what your H needs to come to realize is that it kind of doesn't matter whether YOUR changes are real. If HE hasn't changed and grown, then it will be easy to fall back into bad patterns. Making the assumption that as long as WE have changed then everything will be OK is a recipe for disaster. The MLCer has to be willing to realize their role in the problems, and be willing to accept and grow with the realization. It is a long process and patience is key.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
