I love the boundary description by KentS. I see some folks here really know how to set a boundary without a brick wall. Too much of the advice though, sounds like a brick wall, and also, that it is all they are really going to do, set a boundary and get their own life and if the spouse wants to join the plan, that's fine.
I love this:
Quote:
Reconcilliation is not possible if your S is embroiled in an affair. All you can do is establish boundaries and a stable/calm home environment that will eventually look attractive to the wayward spouse when their life begins to crash around them. This requires that you complete the previously mentioned changes. It's important to know the difference between boundaries and brick walls. A boundary is a restriction that is still based on a minimal degree of trust and respect. A brick wall is a restriction that is stipulated as a uncontrolled reaction to the wayward spouse's bad behavior and typically pushes them further away. Brick walls will not bring your spouse home. In fact brick walls will make the OW or OM or just being alone appear to be the more attractive alternative.
