Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

This has been a long journey, one that I wish could have been stopped. My wife's bday is tomorrow. I got her a simple card. Something I would give a stranger or someone who I just met. I have been fighting to detach some days good some days bad. I know that I have really gotten to my wife. I have shown myself that I can be independent of her, and inturn she sees it. BUT, it may not be enough. She has said she is angry at me, and has displayed her anger to me and the kids. As my parents continue to point out and I believe it is true, that my W has a lot of guilt. But the truth at this point is that my W may file. She said tonight that she is very unhappy and that the only way to stop her unhappiness is to D. She said she might call her attorney tomorrow. Well what a fitting Bday present to herslf!!

I have made some real strides with W in the past several weeks. I have been seeing my preist for some counseling. I also have been reading the book 'Feelling Good Together." Both the book and the preist have been echoing the same ways to communicate with W. W and I have had some really deep conversations. Everytime we engage in a deep conversation she really opens up to me and allows me into her thoughts and feelings. But later that day or the next day she recoils and does a 180 with anger and "venom"- as she puts it.

The closer I get to W with intellectual intimacy the further away from physical closeness/intimacy. Quit a conundrum?

I am bracing myself right now but just wanted feedback. I know that it has been a while since being on here. Anyone having better DB'ing luck?