Reconciliation can take time. (years if you read some stories here) Proceed slowly.
Originally Posted By: dbmod
Absolutely. If he's proceeding slowly, there's no reason not to date her and lose all the ground he's gained. If you missed the ground he gained--go back and read his previous threads--I noted it. If you want to achieve your goal it's extremely important to note when you've achieved baby steps along the way.
I never said that he shouldn't celebrate the baby steps. What I said (reworded) is he needs to be cautious b/c there are going to be ups and downs.
IMHO, he needs to chart a course that will be both beneficial if he remains in his M or if his M ends in D. I am an advocate of marriage but it doesn't always work that way. The spouse left behind can take responsibility and change for their part of the M only. His W has to do her work for their M to survive.
End of meta-discussion on someone else's thread for me.
Sinclair,
IMO you need to do what is right for you and what is working for you.
I would not make the choice to live with someone that is an active R outside the M. It would take a strength that I don't have. I would be more than willing to work on a M if there was NC between W and OM. (That would be a deal-breaker for me)
Where do you stand. Knowing that may help lead you to your answer about friendship?
My answer: If you don't want to know don't click
Click to reveal..
no marriage=no friends
will
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
