MLC or just an EA?

[BeingMe]

Not sure you can do anything else. Just go about your life in a positive manner, and be a good example to your daughter. Give him his space within the home, but make it clear you are not going to wait forever.

He's not manipulated, of course ... he still has choices. Move out or lose family. Pursue OW (and possibly have a harassment charge against him) or lose family. You were up front with him, so he has to make his own choice. The alternative = work on marriage and save family. You were right in calling him a cake eater. He seems to want it all, but now comes the test of his true character (although, MLCers aren't truly themselves so it's difficult to know what he will do).

I think it was Dr Phil who said that "the greatest gift you can give your children (as a man and father) is to love their mother." When the mother of your children is happy, and the children are happy, and you have a family intact, secure and emotionally safe ... that's a successful man, whether rich or poor. Those, such as my H, who see themselves only successful through their career, fail as a man. They lose their leadership of the family, and that is when things start to go wrong.

A good book for men to read: Winners Never Cheat: Even in Difficult Times, by Jon M. Huntsman. He is an inspiring man, for whose example men can follow.

Your H is probably angry because he knows he can't step up to the plate now. You might want to point out to him that OW is free and he is not. If he really cared about her, he should let her go. Why should she become embroiled in his wreck of a life? What gives him the right to force his attention (albeit benign and for the sake of "friendship") on her? She is trying to do the right thing. She probably feels beholden to him, and he is using that to manipulate her ... rather ironic, no?! That he is willing to manipulate someone else, but doesn't like it done to him, even the hint of it. MLC is a b*tch.