Living Like Roommates

[Sad_but_happy]

Thanks Sandi, and yes I am hurt... But I too have done hurtful things so I can forgive. For me, if she continued the A we are done. But that's just me.

Sandi, you are right that she does not feel guilt right now and has never said sorry. That DID hurt me at first and make me very angry. But I also see that in her mind, during the A she thought I did not love her and over the years I admit that I did disconnect since my needs were not being met. So though I TAKE NO BLAME for HER actions, I can see from a human standpoint the mistake one can make when feeling alone and desperate.

In the last 3 months we have gone from anger and hurt and fighting to no fighting at all to doing nice things for each other. And last night when I went to spoon her she backed into me like she had in the past. It felt nice... She does not move away at all. And we now sit close together on the caair and in bed. Also, when I went to grap her hand last night she did not pull away. In fact she grabbed mine back..

I am still the one to initiate the physical contact but she does not pull away and seems to like it... Baby steps... Don't rush... I sooo want to kiss her in a place other then her head but I don't want to rush. This appears to be a good pace for W.

I still feel that setting the NO OTHER MEN boundary is the right one for me regardless of if she leaves. And SHE KNOWS due to my harsh stance that her going back to OM will risk everything she has. She got her ONE CHANCE with OM. There are NO second chances, at least thats my stance... And as I've said 1000 times, I get to keep my dignity and self-respect which in all honesty is worth more to me then ALMOST anything else...

Sitting and waiting for my Patriots to beat the Bears today! Fire going, W making hot coco with Cream De Minth, W making her famous nachos in a few hours (she makes the best), kids playing and snow and cold outside. Is there anything better? Really, who would want to be single?

Life is good and getting better.