Moving Forward

[gutwrenching]

She is cracking. Last night, she came up to get ready to go sleep on the couch, laid on the bed and cried in the fetal position for quite a while. When she was finally able to talk, she said she needs to see a C. She needs help, needs to figure out what is wrong and why she has always been this way, thinks back to all our her boyfriends and never had an emotional connection with anyone she has ever been, but now it is too late. She can't afford a C and she has to spend all of her free time looking for a place to live.

I calmly said W, I too want you to see someone. YOu are the mother of our wonderful children and for them and for you and for me, I want you to see someone, promise me you will. She said I can't, its too late.

I then said W, you weren't listening to me last night. I said END it with OM and we can talk about everything. Not contacting him is a good START, but I need to know it is ENDED. If you end it with OM, we can talk about slowly moving forward while you get some help and we can talk about options of staying a 2 income family.

She gave an honest reply: I have not contacted him since we talked and he hasn't contacted me. I can end this with him, I can promise you I will as I have done other times as you know, but then I end up reaching out to him and I have to figure out why. If not him, it will be someone else unless I get this right this time.

That was enough for one night. I said you know what the deal is, lets get some sleep.

This morning again she says, I want to talk to that lady you found. I said you know what the deal is, we can talk about it later at some point.