Detachment is a process. It takes time. How much time it takes for you is how long it takes. When you are detached, you are no longer emotionally invested in his decisions. You understand that what he does has nothing to do with you. His rollercoaster of up and down emotions no longer affect your emotions. His treatment of you no longer dictates your treatment of him. You no longer react to him; instead you respond to him in a way that is measured and true to your values without blame or anger.
What helped me to detach the most was learning everything I could about what he might be going through. There came a point when I found compassion for his pain if he was in MLC, and sadness for his loss if he wasn't.
H29, you cannot control what your H feels or does. You can only control your own actions, deal with your own feelings, and take care of you and your children. Let your H go on his way, because it is his way, and his alone. Begin to find your own way now. It may meet your H's at some point in the future, but if it doesn't, you will be so much better off for having done this work.
Keep posting, sharing, asking, reading, learning. There is a lot of help here for you.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
