Thank you for your support. I do agree that what happen prior to her EA needs to be addressed and that is what we have been working on in counseling. In fact my wife gets upset because she sees the changes in me and says that I am a good person.
But that does not change her feelings and attraction to OM. We are past discovery (though they still talk on a limited basis) and now trying to get into recovery.
The problem is that she is not really putting any effort into the recovery process. As I said before, how do you get a connection with someone back if you don't do the things it takes to connect with them again. How can you fully be in recovery if you still have feelings for OM.
We are 6 weeks past her admission of EA and things have gotten worse and not better. We are no further along then we where when we started couseling in June.
She sees the good things happening she tells me yet there is no reaction. OM's wife called me today to see how we where doing. She says that things are no better in their house. OM keeps talking about the past with her etc. Found out the day after discovery they spent 2 hours on the phone, probably planning the story they where going to spin to both of us.
I don't think you can begin the recovery process unless OM is out of the picture. How and when does that happen? For us it is going to be very tough since they live across the street from us.
What do you think would have happened had you not had an EA? Do you think that everything would have come to a head with hub? How long did you guys talk on the phone?
My wife and OM spent sometimes 2, 3, 4 hours a day talking. As well as our kids go to pre school together.
