wife preparing to leave me and kids

[blue2010]

The background on the A is this EA began somtime around march -may 2010 brief PA a few times OM says to OM spouse ending it in june. My W began acting off end of June then July through Sept we started counseling based on communication issues. One night when I pushed as to what was going on the bomb dropped. Then she got all weird. And this post affair behavior. OM says it has been done has not restarted that they communicated in the fall because of the reveal. He one night about a month ago verbally told her to leave him alone rude and drunk is what I was told. And a week later sent a no contact text. OM spouse says he doesn't believe in letters.

My W will not discuss the A she will not open up about it. She bottles up part of the reason we got to this point. She bottled alot of things instead of telling me.

So she was dumped by him. She even said one night she did not have a choice but for it to be over.

I understand getting rid of OM is not the cure all. With 5 kids it is hard to accomplish all I want to to make changes. Alot of projects she always said were fine to wait on ding ding .....were an issue..... But now with this situation, she is doing next to nothing. She is gone from home as much as possible. At her sisters or working more. So I am trying but the kids take time and I am home most.

I am trying to address the things that bother her. I am backed off and have been. I listen and validate. She is not staying at home tonight as she was leaving I reminded her kindly that If she needs me she knows my number. I complimented her on her attire. Lastly I said you may not want to hear this right now but I still Love you. the response was Thank You. So what do I do with all this, no exagerration here either. Stay the course. Don't give up until the judge says it's done (she has not filed yet). It is hard to maintain any sort of hope. Especially knowing the amount of work it will take if she decides to commit to this marriage.